Day 52: Let the fundraising begin

It's official! I have finally started asking people for money. I have transformed from a timid, anti-borrowing student into an assertive, passionate (sort of) solicitor. I just finished writing up my request for my school's morning announcements, and this is essentially what it says:

"CAS to Conquer Cancer:

For her CAS project, Galen will be taking part in the Enbridge Ride to Conquer Cancer. She will be joining hundreds of other cyclists in a 2-day journey from Vancouver B.C. to Seattle. In order to join, each participant must raise at least $2,500 by June 15, the day of the ride. All donations will directly fund the BC Cancer Agency, and its many fields of cancer research. Galen has been training long and hard for this ride, and hopes to find support in the *insert school name here* community. If you would like to help, or just find out more about the ride, feel free to email her or ask her about it the next time you see her. Your support and encouragement could do wonders in the fight against cancer."

I spent a lot of time editing this announcement, because I wanted it to be just right. It's my first real attempt at getting people to donate, and I'm rather nervous. Putting my name up for everyone to see and calling attention to myself is definitely not how I usually behave. I've always been very opposed to seeking gratification for one's good deeds. I firmly believe that if you are truly trying to help a cause, you don't need acknowledgement for your charity, and therefore shouldn't fish for compliments or celebrate yourself. But that's exactly what I had to do for this announcement. Since I'm not allowed to directly request donations, I had to make it seem like all I wanted was encouragement and congratulations, which was hard for me. I wrote at least 5 drafts of this announcement, and kept second-guessing myself each time I wrote out how hard I was working and asked for my classmates' support. But I finally came out with this version, and sent it to my school before I had time for doubt.

I realize that I'm going to have to get used to being proud of myself and telling people how amazing my charity is because, according to most fundraising guides, that's what gets donors excited. I shouldn't feel shame for trying to raise awareness about my bike ride, it's a very good cause--one that I would hate to miss out on simply because I was too embarrassed. I feel like I've finally accepted that if I want to have $2,500 by June, I'll have to swallow my pride, get over my fears, and ask as many people as possible to donate. And if I want to earn lots of donations, I can't have a timid or hesitant demeanor; I have to be strong, confident, and proud of my cause. This first phase of my fundraising process made me realize that I can and will raise the necessary funds by my deadline. I just have to try.

I'm afraid of fundraising

I apologize for not writing recently, but I had to temporarily abandon my current cause to assist in another charity. For the past month or so, my friend and I have been raising funds for the leukemia and lymphoma society (more cancer stuff! I’m turning into a crazy cancer lady). The project, called “Pennies for Patients”, sent us little boxes to walk around asking for money with, and a little pamphlet full of fundraising ideas. Our goal was to raise at least $250, and after about three weeks of trying to get donors, I’ve become very fearful for my own charity.

The first day of fundraising, we went door-to-door with our little white donation box, asking for money. Aside from being very difficult due to the rain and our fear of rejection, this strategy proved inefficient and ineffective. For two hours, we walked around neighborhoods knocking on doors and despising ourselves for becoming annoying solicitors, and we only found two people willing to donate. This made me very uneasy, because the main strategy I had planned to follow was door-to-door solicitation. Next we went to the local grocery store and asked the manager if we could stand out front and ask for donations. This was slightly more effective because it is harder to walk by a donation box than it is to slam your door on one. But in the end, we still only raised $15.81.

Our next strategy was a bake sale. I have never hated baking so much in my life. Since there were only two of us, we both had to take on a large amount of baking in order to have a full and successful sale. The first problem I encountered with this was buying supplies. My grocery list was a mile long, and filled with expensive items like vanilla, an electric mixer, and melting chocolate. The total cost of my purchases was over $200, which makes no sense, since our fundraising goal was only $50 more than that. I essentially spent $200 to get $50 in return.  I stayed up every night baking batches of cupcakes and cookies, and although we raised about $220 with our 3-day bake sale, it really wasn’t worth all the money and effort we put into it. In the end we reached our goal, but we had to fight for it.

This fundraising project has made me feel very nervous about finding sponsors for my bike ride in June. Not only am I working on my own, I’m trying to raise $2,500. That would be like doing “Pennies for Patients” ten times through, and I am NOT doing that again. So I’m left with the question: “what exactly is my fundraising strategy?” Obviously I can try door-to-door solicitation again, but that can’t be my main source of donors. I can also discreetly ask for funds through my school, but I’m not allowed to ask people for money directly, since it violates school policy. I’ll have to say things like, “please show your support” or “if you want to help, then contact me”, and even then, my school’s culture does not include a strong desire for participation, and I am not likely to find many supporters. So how else will I earn money? I’ve researched fundraising strategies, and here are the ones I like:

• Offer to work in exchange for donations—people like to know they’re getting something in return for their payment
• Give some sort of recognition to donors—if people won’t donate for the cause, they may do it for the prestige
• Art sale
• Garage sale
• Send an email, but only one—DON’T PESTER PEOPLE
• Tell people how close you are to your goal so they understand the difference their donation will make
• Be passionate about your cause

This is all I’ve been able to find so far, and with only 101 days left, I’m nervous. I’m just going to have to suck it up and start asking for money. I may be afraid of it, and it may be difficult at first, but I know I can do this!

I fell off the horse...now I have to get back on

In my last post, I complained a bit about the pains I had incurred from over-training. Hip and knee pains, fatigue, hunger, etc. I then boldly stated that after taking a few days off, I felt ready to resume my usual exercise routine. However, the funny thing about that statement is... I completely failed to follow through on it. Schoolwork and laziness turned my quick therapeutic pause into a 10-day slothful binge. I'd like to blame this on homework and other commitments, but since I'm being perfectly honest--it was I, basking in the freedom of thoughtlessness, who did the most damage. When mid-winter break started, I told myself I would start training again, but instead my free time was put to use for frivolous activities. I spent most of my days in bed with my books, computer, and lots of junk food. I completely abandoned the diet and exercise to which I'd been committed for over a month. I "fell off the horse", in other words, and I didn't want to get back on.

Each day I would promise myself that I'd start exercising again, and that my unhealthy spree was at its end. But come midnight, I still hadn't followed through on my promise. I think that in some ways, this was just a burst of impulse and appetite. I haven't fully given in to cravings for a very long time. I can't remember the last time I used "I don't want to" as an excuse for shirking my duties. Nor can I recall a time that I was irresponsible without immediate consequences. It felt amazing to waste away my time and not care that I was being lazy, or to eat a huge slice of chocolate cake and not consider all the saturated fats and empty calories I was consuming. Sometimes, being a slob is a lot of fun, and if I could get away with it, I'm sure I would be a gluttonous couch-potato. But I can't get away with it, and this soon became very clear to me.

One of the nice things about exercising frequently is that you become accustomed to that nice "healthy heart feeling". Everything's all loose and strong...you're like a well-oiled machine--full of energy and finely tuned to your function. If you go through each day feeling like that, it's a pretty big shock when that feeling starts to go away. I am very glad that the tense, groggy sensation I acquired is not my status quo. To constantly feel like your body is weighted down, or like all your tendons are shrinking, is a life I could never live. It was for this reason that I decided it was time for me to "get back on the horse",

Taking a little vacation from a healthy lifestyle was enjoyable. I don't think I could stand a life without the occasional hiccup in my self-restraint. Who wants to live without things like naps or chocolate or random internet sites or books? I don't want my life to revolve around some routine that I created...spontaneity is just as important as ceremony. However, if deviations from a healthy regimen are a frequent part of my life, then I'm not really being spontaneous anymore--I'm just falling into a new routine that is less beneficial. I don't want to grow used to this sluggish sensation that accompanies mindless eating and sleeping, and I don't want to lose my sense of energy or discipline. So I'm returning to my usual diet and exercise, in hopes that I won't let myself fall even further from my goal.

Day 30: New Training Routine

Yes, I know...I'm technically uploading this video on Day 36 instead of day 30. But I made this video for day 30 of this project, and I'm going to title it as a day 30 video. I'm in control of this blog, and I can title my posts however I want. So there! haha

Day 36: the consequences of too much exercise

So, if you look at my training calender, you'll notice that since Friday I've been intentionally missing training days. The explanation for this is simple: I pushed myself too hard last week, and started to notice the main symptoms of over-training. I had very tender muscles, my knee and hip were sore from hyper-extension, I had a very hard time going to sleep, my mood worsened, I had a loss in appetite, and minor headaches. I was ignoring these symptoms for a while, but on Thursday, after a bike ride home, I could barely walk from my knee pain, I felt grumpy and irritable, I didn't want to touch my lunch, and it took hours for me to drift into a restless sleep. The next day, when I awoke to a dull throbbing hip and soft stabbing pain in my head, I finally accepted that I was pushing myself too hard.
I'm generally the sort of person who sees weakness in giving in to pain, but even I had to admit that my body was trying to tell me something. I had heard too many stories about athletes who ignored these kinds of signs, and ended up permanently disabling themselves. I did not want to become a one-legged cyclist or ruin my muscle development. So I allowed myself a respite from exercise. This break was only supposed to be a couple of days of icing joints, catching up on sleep, and heat-packing muscles. But each morning, I awoke to further pain or problems, and I eventually ended up taking a whole four days off.
It's actually interesting how the repercussions of a strenuous lifestyle manifest themselves after you take a break. The first day of resting, all of the major muscles and joints on the left side of my body kept seizing up. I tried stretching them, but it was as though my body were saying to me "hey, you've been relying too heavily on your left side. When you start cycling again, you'd better focus on your equilibrium". On the second day of rest, I became ravenously hungry. I ate endlessly, leaving behind a trail of wrappers and crumbs everywhere I went. It felt amazing to not be living on fruits and vegetables. After consuming a hole block of tofu and some chicken-less nuggets (I'm a vegetarian, in case you didn't know), I realized that I was probably suffering from a protein-deficiency. On the third day of rest, I tried to do some strength training, but after two back-kicks, my right hip made an unhealthy popping noise, and I decided I should probably start stretching my muscles before I use them. Finally, today I felt the great fatigue of an over-worked body. I kept falling asleep, and eventually took a 5 hour-long nap. After waking, I drank about three bottles of water, reminding me that sleep and hydration are necessities which I should not neglect. At last, I feel fully rejuvenated and ready to resume my training routine.
I now have a better idea of what I should prioritize in my training routine. I need to use my muscles more evenly, stretch before exercising, drink plenty of water, fuel my body with a more protein-rich diet, fit in more time for sleeping, and put less of a strain on my joints. I'm also considering fewer hours of exercise per week, since many of these issues can be owed to insufficient time for taking proper care of myself. However, I don't want to jump to any conclusions, and will try my current training regimen for another week before finalizing my decision. This recovery time may have set me back a little in my preparations, but I would rather stall my improvement than permanently handicap myself. So I'm glad I took this short vacation from exercise, and I am eager to resume my usual routine.

Day 21: New Bike!

Today my mom and I made my commitment to this project official by buying a new bike and all the necessary attachments! If you watch my video about trying out my bike rollers, you can see what my old bike looked like.  It's a strong, silver trek model that has 24 gears, and is intended for street rides and minimally-damaging forest routes, as you can tell by the thickness of its wheels. It was a good, sturdy bike, and I was very reluctant to replace it. I believe I bought it when I was 12 years old, so I've had it for four years. Understandably, after riding it for a quarter of my life, I'm rather attached to it. I had been delaying the inevitable upgrade to a more suitable bike, because I felt an unusual sense of loyalty for my trusty silver Trek. It seemed like a form of betrayal to replace it, and I could never be a traitor--even to a bike. But today, I finally let go of this unsolicited guilt, and paid a visit to the bike shop.

The employees at the shop were very willing and eager to help. When my mom explained (I was too nervous to speak for myself) that I would be doing a long-distance ride in June, and would require the appropriate equipment for it, the staff seemed to immediately know which bike to recommend. The bike they selected for me was a slim, lightweight model with curved handlebars, and a gear switch attached to the breaks to free the rider from frequently changing their hand position. The bike's wheels were much thinner than my old bike's, and it didn't have as many gears, or a kick stand. Compared to my old Trek, this new model they were offering me was so different, and I was very mistrustful of it. Still, I knew that I should be open to their suggestions, and warily took the bicycle out for a test ride.

The connection with the bicycle was instantaneous. As soon as I started to pedal, I shot off into the parking lot. When I adjusted my direction, the bike turned with me in the blink of an eye. I couldn't stop grinning as the rain pelted my face, and my vision blurred from my outstanding acceleration. In all reality it probably wasn't that fast, but I'm allowed to exaggerate because this is my story and I'm in control. I returned to the shop after a quick trip up to the park and then around the store again. As I came to a stop in front of the glass doors of the shop, I was greeted with the reflection of a slightly-crazy cyclist. My hair was soaked with rain, my cheeks and hands were red after being hammered by the wind, I had a long streak of mud and dirt up my back, and I couldn't stop grinning ecstatically. There was no doubt in my mind that the bike was meant to be my new trusty companion in my upcoming excursion.

I returned to the shop and picked out a waterproof jacket and gloves to replace the ski clothes I'd been using on my rides before. I also bought a set of toe-clips for my pedals, and cycling shoes to go with them. I bought a water bottle holder, a platform for a pannier, and a wheel-replacement kit which the store will teach me how to use. When I was done, I had a new, fully-equipped and accessorized bicycle. Since the bike shop still has to attach some parts to the bike and show me how to use the toe-clips, I won't be able to use it right away, but I'm so excited to own a street bike!

I will still miss my old bicycle, but I know that upgrading is a necessary part of life. We can't get anywhere if we aren't willing to move forward with innovation. That bike was my only independent mode of transportation for four years, and I will always remember it fondly. I should probably get used to the idea that I have a new bike, but just for old-time's sake, I'll be riding my old Trek to school one last time tomorrow. After that, it'll probably sit in our attic, or go onto a new owner who will care for just as much as I did. But whatever I do with it, it will always be the bike that made me love cycling, and you can't upgrade from that.

Day 20: Lots of Exercise Means Lots of Learning

Today was a big day for me. Since I missed two days of exercise due to my class retreat, I had a lot of catching up to do. I started by running for two hours (with a break halfway through), and then did an hour of sit-ups, squats, legs, raises, etc. My body burned for three hours, and while my muscles and joints are very unhappy now, I feel very content. No one can endure three hours of exercise without learning a bit about their body’s functionality. All this training gave me a lot of time to evaluate my strengths and weaknesses, and I discovered several tricks that make my workout more efficient and endurable.

The first of my breakthroughs occurred while I was running. When I run, I usually do a form of interval training, which alternates between jogging, running, and briefly sprinting. Ever since I've started this routine, it’s been very difficult for me to keep my heart rate below its maximum of 164 beats per minute. No matter how many times I ran, my cardiovascular strength just didn't seem to be improving. But today, I noticed something new. Whenever I’d start to run or sprint, my chest would become extremely tight. It was like my lungs weren't big enough for all the air I needed. I should now mention that I always wear two sports bras when I run, to decrease the strain on my back. I thought this would make my workout easier, but today I realized how wrong I was. After an hour of running, I was sure that my difficulty breathing was not due to a limited lung capacity. I experimented a little, and am now sure that the source of my inadequate inhalations was my constricting clothing. As soon as I removed my tight upper garment, my heart rate slowed down from 166 beats per minute to 157. This was a very valuable discovery, because now all my workouts will be more beneficial to my heart. When I run, it can be less of an anaerobic workout.

I also learned how to overcome pain in my joints. The area that gives me the most trouble is my hips. My hips have been a burden for as long as I can remember. They do not just malfunction in one direction…they fall out of place from all angles. It’s difficult to explain just how they do this, but if I move my legs too wide, too quickly, or change their direction drastically, my hip pops. The feeling that comes with this pop is also difficult to explain because it depends on what made my hip pop, and where in my hip the popping occurred. Sometimes it feels like my leg was pulled out of its socket, sometimes it feels like there’s a brick in between my tailbone and the back of my leg, sometimes it’s as though the tendons and muscles around my hip were tied in knots, and other times there’s just a long, unpleasant, tingly pain. There is nothing I can do about this, except pop my hip back into place, or rest my legs. As you can imagine, this does not make for an easy running experience, since I am rapidly moving my legs from a narrow stance to a wide stance. It can also make my jogs less efficient since I sometimes have to stop and push my hip back into place, which makes my heart rate go down. I encountered this problem several times during my run, and finally found a way to avoid it. I noticed that right before my hip pops, there is a small, throbbing pain on the crest of my ilium. If, as soon as this pain began, I tightened my lower stomach and glutes, my hips would continue to function, and the pain would go away. I was able to apply this knowledge to my later leg exercises as well. I cannot put into words how happy I am to be able to manage my joint pain. It has been such a hindrance, and sometimes stops me from being able to walk properly. Countering it with this strategy opens a whole slew of exercises which I previously avoided due to their extreme leg movements.

Whenever I’d choose to exercise, my shortness of breath and joint problems often discouraged me from being active for long periods of time. I didn't think I could train for as long as I did today, but I’m so glad I did, because now I have two fewer weaknesses to hold me back. Now, I can train for longer, and become an even better athlete. There are still many limitations that I need to overcome, but I know that I will be able to face them as well. Today gave me confidence in myself, and made me feel much less helpless. I learned that strength is not avoiding weakness; it’s learning how to improve in spite of your weaknesses. I feel like today, I was strong.

Day 18: Finding refuge in Running

Today was a horrible day. My friend came to school crying and informed me that her parents are planning on pulling her out of school. I felt so sick when she said this, and have spent all day fighting back tears. Anyone who’s lost a friend knows what this feels like. I didn't hear a thing my teachers said in class, because all I could think about was how a part of my life will be empty without her in it. At the mere thought of her, my stomach clenched, my breath caught in my throat, and my face fell as teardrops formed in the corners of my eyes. I just wanted an escape from the overwhelming emotions, and today I found one in exercise.

                I often take for granted the mind-numbing qualities of running. I generally view its rhythm and repetition as monotonous, but today I found them soothing. From right leg to left leg, inhale to exhale, and extension to contraction, I am given a space of time in which all I have to focus on is maintaining the pace of these motions. I barely think about anything except how fast my heart is beating and how I can improve the unity of my movements. I really appreciated this today.

                In the hour that I jogged on the treadmill, I felt at peace. I thought of how many miles I had run, I concentrated on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, I reminded myself to drink water every fifteen minutes, and I made sure I wasn't turning out my feet. But I didn't think about how sad I was. Although I thought about my friend’s departure, I did it in a more distant manner that was free of emotion, and I feel like I have almost come to terms with it now. My eyes have been opened to the use of exercise as a coping mechanism, which is certainly more beneficial than my usual response of eating my feelings. I can honestly say I feel better now, and that maybe today is not as horrible as I thought.

A Confession

Today I finally found myself with the determination and time to stop what I’m doing and get some writing done. I sat in front of my computer for some time, staring at the little blinking line on my word document, and wondering just what I was going to say. I had the enthusiasm, just not the inspiration. So I reflected on how this blog has been going so far. I was a little happy, because I was able to acknowledge some improvement in my training. But I was more disappointed in myself, because I had not been keeping up with my goal of writing three times a week. This sudden self-shame gave me the desire to make a confession—something I think I should make known about myself before continuing this blog: I am one of the biggest procrastinators ever. The weight of this confession probably isn’t clear to you, because procrastination is not exactly an uncommon trait. Putting off tasks may be a nuisance, but it’s not a serious crime. However, my procrastination is deeper and more troublesome. I don’t just put off tasks, I ignore them altogether. I wouldn’t be so ashamed of this if I were the only one to suffer from it. But I end up hurting other people and losing their trust because of this flaw, which is awful. I carelessly break promises, put off appointments, forget commitments, or in this case, write four fewer entries in my blog than I said I would.

This failure on my part doesn’t really affect the people who read this blog, but it bothers me greatly because it demonstrates a lack of accountability. In my dismissal of the goals I originally made at the start of this project, I am letting down myself and anyone else who believed I would follow through on them. This disappointing quality I possess is probably what I like least about myself, and for that reason, I want to try and change it. I promise that from this point on I will take my commitment to this project more seriously, and will make a significant effort to be reliable and trustworthy. Whether or not I keep this promise will be the ultimate test of my integrity, and I hope I prove myself through it. I conclude my confession by looking forward with anticipation to next week, when I hope I will begin my writing schedule anew. With any luck, you will hear from me three times instead of one, and this journey can truly begin.

Thoughts on balancing schedules

Well, here I am. The first week of training is gone, and I’m only starting to comprehend how much juggling this project will require. The greatest challenge for me right now is making time to study, exercise and sleep. School and extracurriculars can really take up quite a lot of time. For example, one of my teachers recently assigned our class an end-of-semester project. Every night I would plan to start it, but would find that other homework and an hour of exercise took up all of my night. So I would give all my time to busywork and exercise, but ended up taking time away from those things later when I stayed up all night writing my culminating presentation. I regret this deeply, but I’m even more concerned that I was not shocked by this sudden late-nighter. The truth is, whether I have a culminating project or not, I don’t go to bed on time.

Now, as a junior in high school, I know the value of sleep. I’m an expert at how wrong things can go when you’re sleep deprived. I’ve reached a point where I could barely hold an intelligible conversation (luckily, the rest of my class was just as tired, so we basically spoke gibberish back and forth to each other, and no one cared). I know what it’s like to be so wrought with fatigue that walking makes me feel like I’ll puke. My feelings cannot be unique, and I’m sure most people would agree that that level of exhaustion is something to avoid at all costs. Unfortunately, I’m not really willing to pay the price for a good night’s sleep. Sleep is always the least of my concerns, which is why I’m currently questioning how I’ve prioritized my life.

So here’s my predicament: Do I 

a) slowly cut off years from my life by not sleeping, 

b) let my body waste away by never exercising, 

or c) fail all my classes by prioritizing schoolwork last? 

I have to sacrifice one of these, because I clearly can’t maintain all three. I hate having to make this decision because all of these activities are an important part of my life. In the end, I love them all equally, and hate the consequences of neglecting them. Ever since I really started to organize my life, I've always done it in a way that demands me to maintain an exercise routine, good grades, and sufficient sleep. This wasn't so impossible before, but now it seems like a foolish whim. This is reflected in many aspects of my life, including piano, which I can no longer practice, school, where I've developed a bit of an attitude because I’m so tired, and this blog.

If you go to the calendar section, you’ll see that I missed three days of training. What was I doing during this time? I was in my bed, enjoying the sweet pleasure of having my feet tucked under a duvet, and my cat purring on my stomach. This little indulgence felt fantastic at the time, but had later repercussions—namely that I wouldn’t leave my bed to train (really, who leaves a blanket and a happy cat to do sit-ups?). I also neglected to make any written posts on this blog, and I’m embarrassed about that too. I’m still unsure as to how I will reorganize my schedule and priorities, but I wanted to get rid of the guilt of failing to meet my goals. I hope this wasn’t too long of a first post, but I wanted to speak from the heart. I hope it showed J

Day 1 of Training: Conquering Bike Rollers

I was unable to post this yesterday because of bandwidth issues, but here it is! Just one day late. This is only the beginning of my awe-inducing quest.