In my last post, I complained a bit about the pains I had incurred from over-training. Hip and knee pains, fatigue, hunger, etc. I then boldly stated that after taking a few days off, I felt ready to resume my usual exercise routine. However, the funny thing about that statement is... I completely failed to follow through on it. Schoolwork and laziness turned my quick therapeutic pause into a 10-day slothful binge. I'd like to blame this on homework and other commitments, but since I'm being perfectly honest--it was I, basking in the freedom of thoughtlessness, who did the most damage. When mid-winter break started, I told myself I would start training again, but instead my free time was put to use for frivolous activities. I spent most of my days in bed with my books, computer, and lots of junk food. I completely abandoned the diet and exercise to which I'd been committed for over a month. I "fell off the horse", in other words, and I didn't want to get back on.
Each day I would promise myself that I'd start exercising again, and that my unhealthy spree was at its end. But come midnight, I still hadn't followed through on my promise. I think that in some ways, this was just a burst of impulse and appetite. I haven't fully given in to cravings for a very long time. I can't remember the last time I used "I don't want to" as an excuse for shirking my duties. Nor can I recall a time that I was irresponsible without immediate consequences. It felt amazing to waste away my time and not care that I was being lazy, or to eat a huge slice of chocolate cake and not consider all the saturated fats and empty calories I was consuming. Sometimes, being a slob is a lot of fun, and if I could get away with it, I'm sure I would be a gluttonous couch-potato. But I can't get away with it, and this soon became very clear to me.
One of the nice things about exercising frequently is that you become accustomed to that nice "healthy heart feeling". Everything's all loose and strong...you're like a well-oiled machine--full of energy and finely tuned to your function. If you go through each day feeling like that, it's a pretty big shock when that feeling starts to go away. I am very glad that the tense, groggy sensation I acquired is not my status quo. To constantly feel like your body is weighted down, or like all your tendons are shrinking, is a life I could never live. It was for this reason that I decided it was time for me to "get back on the horse",
Taking a little vacation from a healthy lifestyle was enjoyable. I don't think I could stand a life without the occasional hiccup in my self-restraint. Who wants to live without things like naps or chocolate or random internet sites or books? I don't want my life to revolve around some routine that I created...spontaneity is just as important as ceremony. However, if deviations from a healthy regimen are a frequent part of my life, then I'm not really being spontaneous anymore--I'm just falling into a new routine that is less beneficial. I don't want to grow used to this sluggish sensation that accompanies mindless eating and sleeping, and I don't want to lose my sense of energy or discipline. So I'm returning to my usual diet and exercise, in hopes that I won't let myself fall even further from my goal.
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